Dowry, this word has become so ingrained in our language that it seems harmless, but in reality it is a deep wound in our society, a canker that has ruined the lives of countless daughters. This ritual, which flourishes under the guise of traditions, has turned a sacred relationship like marriage into a financial transaction. It is not just a list of goods, but a burden that falls on the shoulders of parents with the birth of a daughter, and under this burden, many dreams, many relationships and many lives die.
Why is dowry a social canker? The demand for dowry or its practice is not just a ritual but a serious social problem whose effects are extremely destructive.
Considering the birth of daughters as a burden
When parents fear that they will have to collect a heavy dowry for their daughter’s marriage, the birth of a daughter begins to cause anxiety and financial burden instead of joy. This trend negatively affects social attitudes towards daughters.
Delayed marriages and increasing age of girls
Many poor and middle class parents are unable to get their daughters married on time due to lack of financial resources, which causes the girls to age and become mentally stressed. This problem leads to depression and other psychological illnesses.
Lack of relationships or being forced into low status relationships
In case of not being able to provide dowry, even good and educated girls do not get good relationships. Parents are forced to marry their daughters into relationships where they do not get respect and love, just because the demand for dowry is low there.
Financial burden and debts on families
For dowry, parents often waste their savings, sell lands or get bogged down in debts, after which they are unable to get out of this debt swamp for the rest of their lives. This financial disaster affects the entire family.
Post-Marital Violence and Harassment
The sad reality is that many women face physical and mental violence at the hands of their in-laws when their dowry is less or their demands are not met after marriage. They are taunted, beaten and sometimes even end their lives.
Increasing cases of suicide
Fed up with dowry demands, financial difficulties, and in-law violence, many women end their lives, which is the curse behind this.
Religious perspective
Concept of Dowry in Islam: Islam is a complete code of life that emphasizes simplicity and moderation. There is no concept of dowry in Islam. The few things that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) gave to his daughter, Hazrat Fatima (may Allah be pleased with her), were very short and consisted of basic necessities, which can be called “helping the daughter to settle down” instead of “dowry”. This was not part of any demand or ritual, but a gift given by a father to his daughter. Islam commands to make marriage easy, not difficult. Demanding dowry is completely against Islamic teachings.
Legal Aspects: Anti-dowry laws
Many Islamic countries, including Pakistan, have laws against dowry. In Pakistan, the “Dowry and Bride Gift (Prohibition) Act, 1976” and subsequent amendments limit the amount of dowry and make its demand a punishable offense. However, the implementation of these laws is very weak, and due to social pressure, most of the victims are unable to raise their voices, due to which these laws have become limited to papers only.
Possible solutions and suggestions: To eradicate this social evil, we all have to make joint efforts:
Parental attitude
Invest in the education and training of daughters: Instead of collecting dowry, give the best education to daughters, make them skilled so that they can become self-sufficient. An educated and independent daughter is an active member of the society.
Reject Dowry Demands: Parents should strongly reject dowry-demanding relationships, no matter how much difficulty they face.
Role of Youth:
Not Demanding Dowry: Men should pledge that they will not demand dowry in marriage but will marry in simplicity and according to Islamic teachings. This change is possible only with the strong will of the youth.
Promote Simplicity: Have simple marriages and avoid unnecessary customs and traditions. Set an example for others.
Role of Scholars and Social Organizations:
Awareness Campaign and Positive Messaging: Raise voice against dowry among members of mosques and public gatherings and explain its evil in the light of Islamic teachings.
Community Support: Social organizations should support families and women affected by dowry, provide them with legal and psychological support.
Role of Government:
Strictly Implement Laws: Ensure strict implementation of anti-dowry laws. Those who demand dowry should be punished to serve as a lesson to others.
Ease of judicial process: Legal proceedings should be made easier for the victims.
Public awareness and campaigns:
The negative effects of dowry and awareness against it should be spread through media, dramas, films and social media. Examples should be given where successful and happy marriages have taken place without dowry.
Conclusion
The problem of dowry is a complex social scourge, which requires coordinated efforts at the individual, family, societal, and government levels to eradicate. Unless we commit to not burdening our daughters but empowering them and uprooting the demands of dowry, this scourge will continue to erode our society. Let us create a society where love and respect are the basis of relationships, not wealth and possessions. Only a dowry-free society can be a healthy and prosperous society.
Shaddad Aahqar